We all talk to ourselves throughout the day – in fact, mind talk is inescapable for almost every human being on the planet. I do am not referring to the internal dialogue concerning the day to day tasks that you need to complete. What I am alluding to are the statements you make to yourself everyday and how they are stated. Is this personal talk promoting positive self esteem – or are you ripping yourself to shreds?
For instance, when you accidentally commit a blunder, do you provide positive motivation for change or do you reprimand yourself? Do you make self deprecating comments and belittle yourself? When presented with the possibility of making some positive changes do you find yourself unable to follow through because you believe that you will not succeed anyway?
Having a negative internal dialogue with yourself can be very deleterious to your self-esteem, especially if it occurs every day. If those little voices in your head keep repeating negative things, sooner or later you will start to accept those hurtful statements.
These negative statements often begin as comments that adults made to you, or in front of you, when you were a kid. The comments might have been made when you did something naughty or were uncalled for aspersions that were undeserved. While it was traumatizing enough to have to deal with such bullying, it is just as damaging when you become your own bully and repeat negative things to yourself.
There is hope though, because you can change how you to talk to yourself. The first step is becoming aware of what your internal dialogue is and make a conscious effort to be positive with yourself.
Changing Your Negative Mind Talk
Become aware of your internal dialogue. Be patient and monitor your inner dialogue, by doing so you will catch yourself when those negative statements pop into your head.
Confront the negative statements. When you catch negative thoughts popping into you head, like “You’re an idiot, you can never do things correctly”–stop what you are doing and confront the statement. Is that statement accurate? Everyone makes a blunder, but do you consistently make them? The answer is that you probably do not.
Replace the negative inner dialogue with a positive inner dialogue. Once you become cognizant of the nasty things you are telling yourself, you just need to counter each negative thought and be positive. Following the above example, you could tell yourself that “That statement is false. I accomplish many things without making a mistake. While it is true I sometimes blunder, everyone does from time to time. I am a nice person and do my best. And that is good enough.”
With time and being persistent in being aware of what you are telling yourself, you will find that you have reinforced your self-esteem and positive motivation and, just possibly, discover that you no longer doubt your capabilities. This process takes time, but little by little you will slowly build your self respect and positive thoughts will outnumber the negative ones. This kind of self discipline goes far beyond positive thinking. It’s the foundation of all achievement and success in your life. Just believing in yourself doesn’t mean that you will automatically do anything you want. Skill and effort is also involved. But one thing is certain: without belief in yourself, you will NEVER achieve greatness, no matter what other assets you possess.