The story of a 22 year old spoiled brat … yesterday the son of an acquaintance was arrested for using meth and for fighting with police. He's now in the Gwinnett County, GA, detention center facing many years in prison. It's a sad story but not that surprising. His divorced parents spoiled him shamelessly and never made him responsible for ANYTHING. And the saga continues because this ungrateful kid treats his mother like dirt – and yet what was her first reaction? To rush down to the detention center to see if she could bail her "baby" out.
It is much easier to avoid spoiling your child in the first place, than trying to correct the results of years of spoiling behavior on your part. To raise well mannered and socially conscious children who will grow into responsible and happy adults, you need to establish ground rules early. Use the following tips to avoid spoiling your child, nipping unproductive and selfish behaviors in the bud.
It may sound simple and sensible to never give into a begging child, but so many parents fail here. Once you have taught that relentless begging is successful, it will be extremely difficult to "unlearn" this behavior.
Very early on in your child's life, set clear and definable limits. When your child understands that there is absolutely no wiggle room regarding certain behaviors and outcomes, they will respond appropriately.
Once you set those limits, do not allow yourself to reinterpret under any set of circumstances. For instance, if your child wants a cookie, tell them, "You may have one, but that is all. Do not ask for any more." Yes, maybe a second cookie would be fine, but once you set limits, you must be firm and adhere to them.
If you want to avoid spoiling your child, develop a work-then-reward mentality. Research has shown that teaching your child to strictly handle homework, chores and other responsibilities helps her learn to cope with frustration. Create simple chores for your toddlers around the house, and you will see fewer temper tantrums as a result.
Why not make your child convince you? Does your little one want to watch her favorite TV show? If she informs you she has put away her toys and cleaned her room, and you verify this is the case, you will be rewarding positive behavior and empowering your child to independently work towards her goals.
And don't forget, you can never be afraid to disappoint if you want to raise an unspoiled child. You know as an adult that learning to accept disappointment is an important life skill. This can also help your child deal effectively with emotional stress as an adult.
Children begin to become spoiled when they receive what they want too easily. Many child psychologists believe that when your children learn to work for what they want, in the form of homework, chores or displaying certain behaviors, a positive reinforcement system that recognizes good behavior can lead to a lifetime of rewards.